Uncovering Confidence

Sana sat staring at Rena, glued to her every word. So intense was her focus that the stranger next to her listened too.

“What is this I have in my hand?” Rena was saying, “A thousand rupee note!”

And as they watched, she crumpled it up and threw it on the floor. The crowd started.

“No, that’s not bad enough” said Rena” I’m gonna step on it, trample it, push it into the dirt”

Transfixed, Sana kept looking, she’d been waiting for a year now, to buy that most wonderful dress!. That thousand would surely have helped.

Picking up the now abused note, Rena held it out to the crowd “What do you think it is now worth? You are this note, no matter what has happened so far, your worth is the same as it was”.

 “10 ways to improve your self confidence”, “three steps to conquering the self esteem demon”  or “instant confidence at your fingertips”… there’s no dearth of what you can find  in the form of articles and books that promise to help you out of your shell.

After training sessions, I’ve had so many people come and ask me the same question 

”how can I be more confident”

I was there too, some time ago, trying to hide my fears under the guise of an “I don’t care” attitude.Sometimes it is hidden under the mask of arrogance and sometimes it’s out there as timidity.

I’ve seen it in the guise of success as much as in that of unhappiness.

It took me many years to start feeling comfortable in my own skin, to stop pretending that I did not care what others said, to take my life in my own hands and not be afraid.

The so called strategies and techniques did not help me. The seven or ten steps, only gave me another mask. The counseling and mentoring made me dependent. I had to learn on my own.

 Freedom came with understanding this:  It is fine to be me.

Very simple. And yet there it is. A whole hearted acceptance of oneself, warts and all, that is the core of the quiet confidence that seems so out of reach.